NBN #004 | breaking free from toxic patterns
read time: 3 minutes
1 LIFE LESSON LEARNED
when my last 2.5 year relationship ended in 2021, it became a final wake up call for me to recognize that i unconsciously played out “toxic” patterns in my relationships.
some of my “toxic” patterns looked like me trying to force our relationship to keep going, not understanding my wants/needs, saying “yes” when i wanted to actually say “no” — my list would go on and on!
these patterns caused me to feel unhappy, doubtful, frustrated & filled with constant disappointment.
i used to complain & blame the other person for my unhappiness instead of taking responsibility for my actions.
my emotions were unstable & i’d either be super happy or incredibly depressed.
i decided that i didn’t want to play these patterns out anymore, so things had to change.
since then, i’ve learned a lot about how to create healthier relationships from several mentors who are living out the healthier patterns i want to attract.
patterns like letting go of relationships when it doesn’t feel aligned, understanding my own wants/needs, and saying “no” to anything that doesn’t light a “heck yes” fire in my body.
it was scary and totally uncomfortable to choose to live out new, healthy patterns instead of playing out the old “toxic” patterns.
btw, i put “toxic” in quotes because i used to have a negative perspective on this word — causing me to judge myself and other people who played out similar patterns in their own life.
one of the biggest lesson i’ve learned so far is that everyone has their own “toxic” patterns, including myself.
whenever i notice an old “toxic” pattern coming up again — being observant, present and compassionate with myself has brought way more peace through the process.
choosing to play out new, healthier patterns may not seem like it makes a huge difference in the moment, but every small step starts to a compound into a stronger foundation within ✨ — share this on twitter
1 BOOK QUOTE FROM A MENTOR
"to truly actualize change, you have to engage in the work of making new choices every day. in order to achieve mental wellness, you must begin by being an active daily participant in your own healing.”
— dr. nicole lepera, author of how to do the work
i was happy to start reading this book last week because the holistic psychologist has been a key mentor for my journey of healing through her instagram content. it’s all about recognizing your patterns, healing your past & creating a healthier self, so i’m excited to share more of what i learn with you!
get your own copy of the book here — hardcover print | paperback print | ebook | audiobook
1 QUESTION & ACTIONABLE TAKEAWAY FOR YOU
write down a “toxic” pattern you don't want to play out in your relationships moving forward.
am i judging myself for playing this pattern whenever it comes up in my life?
what new, healthier pattern do i want to play out in my life moving forward?
until next week, beautiful!
with lots of love,
RO ♡
your fave multidisciplinary healing artist & founder of lots of love club
STILL LOOKING TO DIVE DEEPER?
whenever you're ready, there are 2 ways i can help you —
1. if you're looking for different holistic modalities to implement into your healing journey, i recommend listening to my podcast conscious awakening. these conversations with healing practitioners & conscious creators helped kickstart my own journey into becoming a healing facilitator for over 1000+ conscious creators worldwide.
we dive into spirituality and psychology, as well as holistic forms of healing such as energy work, plant medicine, sound therapy & more.
listen on spotify | listen on apple podcasts | watch on youtube
2. if you're feeling called to accelerate your healing journey with abundance, inner peace & trust by learning 20+ years of what i've learned in 3-6 months, let's have a zoom chat!
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sent every sunday to a global community with —
1 life lesson learned
1 book quote from a mentor
1 question & actionable takeaway
